"I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear." (John 16:12) This startling saying of Jesus makes it clear that while lying is unacceptable, it is not inappropriate to say less than you know in a given situation. Jesus was clearly aware that there were many aspects of his message that his listeners "can’t handle now." When sharing the gospel in a mission situation there needs to be great sensitivity to the standpoint of the listener at a given time. Truths that may be sweet at a later time can provoke unnecessary opposition when given before the listeners are ready. In a hostile environment, particularly, it is wise to begin with things held in common and move to controversial topics only after a heart connection with another has been established.

In the Gospel of John, Jesus knows what is inside others even before they speak (John 2:23-25). But the knowledge of what is inside another is available to us only after careful listening. To put it another way, we must begin outreach to any community with careful exegesis of their customs, beliefs, and practices. It is equally necessary to love the other the way God loves them.

A friend of mine, Jerald Whitehouse, has pointed out that every spiritual person has an argument need and a spiritual need. When we trigger the argument need by raising or responding to controversial issues between us and another, we may each feel good about "defending the faith" but no one will change for the better. When we avoid the argument need and supply something to the other’s spiritual need, a heart connection can develop, opening the way for spiritual growth in both directions. In John 16:12, Jesus recognized that there were truths the disciples were not ready for. He did not take them one step faster than they were ready to go.

There is an interesting tension between John 16:12 and John 15:15, where Jesus tells them that he shared with them everything his Father had told him. In mission there is a tension between openness and authenticity on the one hand, and sensitivity to what the audience can handle on the other. Religious people often feel a strong incentive to give a "straight testimony," telling people in no uncertain terms the truth exactly as they see it. In the process they damage many relationships and little spiritual good is accomplished. The God revealed in Jesus Christ meets people where they are, not where we think they should be.